I really believe that God wants me to clean up the house. That's the term Adrian, the GKidz team leader told us when we were just about to begin our duties as children ministry leaders. God wants me to let go of him. I knew he was going away, but today's announcement came with much sadness for me anyway. I expected it, I knew one day I was gonna have to let him go all over again. I just thought there will always be another day to wait, another day to see him again.

So yes, I must set a good example for the kids that are gonna look up to me as a leader. I must shed my old self and be a stellar example for them to follow. I really am looking to God for much guidance, though just for tonight, my heart is breaking. It's almost as if it's the first time I heard that he's going away all over again. Smiling on the outside, crying on the inside.

Then again, I rationalize things in my head. "Hey, it's not gonna be so bad, he'll be back after a few months and then you can see him again!" Stuff like these bounce back and forth my mind. But I believe God is taking this opportunity to help me to strengthen my resolve. I'll miss him, I'll pray for him and I'll love him, a crush or not it may be. I'm glad I got to talk to him again though! Amazingly I sounded happy on the phone, casually commenting about the gift we were gonna share for our best friend. Just glad to hear his voice.

As for my new little brother (though he obviously isn't calling me his big sister!), I knew he was annoying but I didn't know he'll be THAT annoying. haha. At least according to hy he is. Ahwell. He still reminds me so much of myself and I really hope that we'll be able to mature together in our personalities. He's such a cute but annoying little brother. hahahaha. Okay though if I told him that he'll probably be scared? NAHH. Not him. Git. lol. I would love to help him mold his character and maybe if we're close enough, maybe I could mentor him. He really holds much potential.

Alright 15 more mins before my clothes are done. Will do my QT and read the book hy gave me! Seriously the book is good. I'm gonna lend it back to hy when I'm done cuz I'm sure he'll be greatly blessed by it too!