Telling me to give up isn't easy at all. I hate this conflict of feelings in my heart. I need to rationalize things out. This wouldn't work. I know I still have something for him and I care a lot about him, but so do many others out there. When he's gone I'll miss him, but then again, so will you and you and you.

Someone asked me, what do I like about him? Can I even claim to have known him? Do I know what kind of girls he like? In all honesty I can never answer such questions. I haven't been hanging out with him as much as I would like to but I do like the person I am when I'm with him. I appreciate the way he treats his friends and family. His innate beauty is what draws me to him but still, I hope he finds a good girl next time. We'll still always be friends.

All I know now is this: I trust that God knows what's in store for both of us. I trust God to be God. And somehow, this isn't the right time. Not right at all. I may love him, but I know God loves him even more than I ever could. I'll leave him to God.

As for me, I'll snap out of this. Thank you to all who have been with me, endured my bouts of emo-ism. No amount of thanks is sufficient for all the help you all have provided me. I will work hard and clear this sem properly now. All of us are working hard for our hopes and dreams, why shouldn't I? (:

I may be sad for awhile but I believe he's doing something he really has the passion for. And so I too will fight for my goals. I'm hopeful, but at the same time I have to be realistic about things. I will do well in wherever I'm placed. I will not placate my inner desires and exchange them for the plans God has for me.

Here goes, last post over. I wish him all the best.