During service this week, Pastor Khong talked about the importance of doing qt daily. Since my blog is rather... secluded (who knows about this blog anyway!) I shall use it to record my sessions, to reflect on the words spoken to me and to think about how I should apply it to my life.
From this site: http://english.duranno.com/livinglife/english_su06.asp

I just showered and came back from cheerleading. Grr I must stretch more or risk being totally cui.


What is your source of boldness? Confidence based on ourselves will fail, but confidence in God’s promises will never fail because God never fails. 1 Chronicles 17:16~22

Interesting once again, how the first devotional tackles something that has always been close to my heart. The word, "Confidence". It has always been an issue that I've struggled with. Does confidence always translate into the word "Ego"? I think a distinction has to be made.

Ego comes from a self-centric perspective, when one thinks only about his own issues, how he should behave so others look up to him and treats him with awe and respect. From my own definition, I think this is what I've been struggling with. This should be a non-issue! Ego shouldn't even exist. I don't want a joanne-centered thinking. No, this cannot be the case.

Confidence on the other hand, focuses more about others and includes a possibility that it originates from someone other than oneself. Confidence can be translated as ego ONLY if the confidence lies in oneself. In the passage given above, the origin of David's confidence is found in God. It is that humble confidence that distinguishes David from the rest, giving him God's favour.

My source of boldness huh... I must admit I am weak in the sense that I find the need to seek approval from others. Words of Affirmation is one of my love languages after all. I find the need to be appreciated important and without it, I am left dry and empty, nothing but a shell. Hence this would lead me to do weird things to find approval from others. No, this need for acceptance does not necessary lead me to compromising my own values and beliefs, it just makes me self-conscious about my appearance, my actions, how I talk, laugh, interact. This makes me really irritated with myself.

I still remember the many times I've cried upon being reminded that God loves me for who I am. He loves me regardless of my stupidity, my running-around-in-circles, my constant whining and falls. Each time I remember this, I remember I am a child of God and I know that He should be the source of my confidence. He is my God and even if the whole world is against me, He is by my side.

The application of this passage to my life may sound easy, but it really isn't. Each time I get no thanks in return for my deeds, walk the extra mile for nothing, I will remember this. God sees what I do and my boldness should come from Him.

This also applies to the great commission I guess. I'm impressed by Daryl, how he cares so much for his friends and just, invites them for a great time at the movies and later to church, shares his heart with us and pray with us. haha he would never read this but I really thank God for him. There's much I need to learn from this senior! His boldness really comes from God even though he's kinda lame. haha! XD

Alright time to study. physicssssssss. may God give me strength! :D