I'm dead tired now and have no idea why I'm here blogging on the pretext of drying my hair after my shower.


Well, no words can really express how I feel about all the fun I had today. First there was CG potluck at East Coast and then there was QQS potluck at Jean's house... I'm stuffed.


Then again, this isn't what I wanted to blog about.

*joanne types a few sentences, furrows her eyebrows (no, actually she's just staring dispassionately at the screen; she's too tired to even lift an eyebrow) and deletes them*


Well, THE POINT IS

she's disappointed with herself. Sure, today was fun, but I've never been aware of such thoughts creeping into the crevices in my mind, the seed of evil growing and taking root in what was once pure and... innocent? If I can even use that word. It's almost as if the cosmic battle of good and evil is not within the heavenlies, but within an individual soul.


We played murderer at Jean's house and in this game, there are 4 main categories in which the players can be grouped under. Namely, they are,

1) THE MURDERERS (without which there would be no game)
2) Policemen (people who have to guess the identity of the murderers)
3) Civilians (cannon-fodder)
4) Narrator (The One in the know, who reports who's dead the next morning)


I feel that this game somehow relates to me quite well. This might sound sketchy, but I'll draw this analogy. In my mind there are 3 voices (not audible of course), the good (policeman), the bad (murderer) and the apathetic (narrator).

This "murderer" continues to infiltrate my thinking even though the "policeman" tries his best to shake him out. All these while my "narrator" sits back on a folding chair sipping pina colada and merely comments, weighing both views but just going hmm and nothing else.

I believe the battle for good and evil has already been won by God and as His daughter, I have nothing to fear. However, in this period of seeking Him and doing His work, I find that I'm facing more troubles and distractions than ever. I really want to stop thinking bad and selfish thoughts because I know they are really destroying who I am and how I see the world.

I don't care if my life lands up like a piece of discarded story, please include a Deus Ex Machina in mine.

Haha alright enough for today. The narrator in my head can never compare to the big Narrator up there and I know that. He knows the ending before my story ever began. Gotta trust that!

Y (^ ^) Y HAHA I learnt this from Kevin. Cute huh.

P.S - I can imagine my sister going OMG WALL OF TEXT I DOWAN READ or something of the like. Hence I've cut up my paragraphs for easier reading. Though how much easier I don't know...