I sang for the church choir today.

Haha don't think of it as some straight-faced choir singing hymns. We had to jump on stage and sing! It's like the greatest exercise on Earth. Felt guilty though cuz I was showing too much interest in the keyboardist directly in front of me. It was nice trying to remember the melodies she played so that I can play them when I get home on the piano.

Today's message was on forgiveness. About how we were forgiven (by God) to forgive others. It prompted me to think about who I couldn't forgive and I can only think of you. I know you'll never read this (unless by some freak chance somebody shows this to you) but even though we're not well acquainted, you changed my life. You changed my perspective of relationships, love and life itself.

In no direct way did you hurt me, but knowing you're a brother in Christ, this breaks my heart. Even more so, this breaks God's heart. I couldn't accept the fact that it was part of your life and this made me distrust guys and even girls on the whole. I never felt so alone since the day I came to know it. Alone because I wish I could change you. I realised I can't. Only God can.

I was taught today that forgiveness meant releasing yourself from the hurt the person caused, regardless of whether the person repents of the wrong-doing or not. Prior to today's sermon, I've been praying every day for you. I would pray that God will touch you in a special way, that God would bless you and protect you from harm. Not that I don't pray for others but put it this way, you are on my daily prayer list.

So today I decided to drop the grudge I bear in my heart against you. But perhaps now what I really want you (and all you other Christians out there) to know is this: Salvation is unconditional, but a relationship with God is conditional. As Christians, our final resting place is determined, BUT our life on Earth will determine our rewards in heaven. Like whether we're living on the outskirts of the kingdom or right next to God's throne. So please live your life right. God's grace is not an excuse to sin.

I asked God for forgiveness too today about my sins, like being enticed by the other world that presented itself as desirable. Wouldn't mention it here but well, everybody has to exorcise their own inner demons.

It's nice to feel broken once in a while when you know you've been personally visited by God. Was really touched today.

On a lighter note, I can't wait for chalet! But then again, MY TIME IS RUNNING OUT. sigh. My major events are:

Class chalet - 21, 22 and 23 Nov
Project Eagles - 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6 Dec. (ARGH I'll be missing Nick's testimony. T__T)
Encounter Weekend - 14, 15 and 16 Dec. I think.

The rest of my holiday is gonna be dedicated to studying. And SEWING. haha bet nobody ever anticipated that. XDD

Alright ciaooo.