I feel really really bad. It's weird; I can talk about anything under the sun to new friends or even strangers yet when it comes to you I just falter. I've known you for so long yet it feels like we've run out of things to talk about! I don't believe this. I miss our crappiness. I really do.
Sometimes I feel lost. I wonder who I am.
It's not what we are inside, but what we do that defines us. That's what I remembered from watching Batman Begins yesterday on television. It struck me because I've always been thinking if what I do really portrays who I am inside. To some extent I realized it doesn't. I should do something about it.
I wonder if I'm just who others want me to be.
I'm feeling pretty much of a failure now. I keep reminding myself somehow of my inadequacies. Like when it comes to finances, time, studies... I need a lot of help. How on earth can I see myself the way God sees me. haha.
Or am I who I am so that others will like me?
In some ways I feel numb. It's weird knowing that someone in this world loves you so much yet you don't really feel anything back in return. I love all my friends, but I know that's not quite enough. I haven't felt any feelings related to romance or anything in quite awhile. I guess that's a good thing? It's not the right time anyway.
What if I expose all my weaknesses, would they still like me?
Long day tomorrow. I'm tired. Goodnight world. I shouldn't care so much.