Rock a bye baby on the tree top,
When the wind blows the cradle will rock,
When the bough BREAKS the cradle will fall,
And down comes the baby, cradle and all!

This is the most sadistic song ever. Don't ever sing it to babies!

Promos are turning me mad. XD

I feel like I'm breaking apart.

Feels like I've reached the point whereby I'm too stressed that I can't even study. Dammit it's only 3 papers more! I want Swensens. But my head hurts. I've got to pull myself together.

God please give me the peace to sleep at night, to wake up knowing that there's always the joy of being alive.

Thousand Foot Krutch - This is a Call

She fooled all of her friends into thinking she's so strong,
but she still sleeps with her light on,
and she acts like
It's all right on, as she smiles again her mother lies there sick with cancer,
and her friends don't understand her,
she's a question without answers,
who feels like falling apart.
She knows, she's so much more than worthless,
but she needs to find her purpose,
she wonders what she did to deserve this and..

[Chorus:]
She's calling out to you, this is a call; this is a call out,
'Cause everytime I fall down, I reach out to you,
and I'm losing all control now, and my hazard signs are all out,
I'm asking you, to show me what this life is all about.

He tells everyone a story,
because he thinks his life is boring,
and he fights
so you won't ignore him,
because that's his biggest fear,
and he cries,
but you'll rarely see him do it.
He loves, but he's scared to use it.
So he hides behind the music, 'cause he likes it that way.
He knows,
He's so much more than worthless,
he needs to find the surface,
because he's starting to get nervous.

[Chorus]

Have you ever felt this way before?
'cause I don't wanna hide here anymore.
Take me to place where nothing's wrong and thanks for coming, shut the door.
They say someone out there sees us,
Well if you're real then save me Jesus,
'cause I've been here for far too long.
I wasn't meant to feel alone.

[Chorus]

Show me what this life is all about
Show me what this life is all about

I really identify with this song; it's another one of those songs that made me cry the first time I heard it. I think others would identify with it too cuz inside we feel like we need someone to save us from this world that we have no control over.

I'm sitting at the school library blogging cuz maths gave me too much of a headache and I need a break. I shouldn't even be in school but well, I'm glad to be able to be of help. You really don't have to owe me lunch. XD

I know that sometimes it may appear that I put more priority on friendships than anything else but I believe I know myself well enough to stand my ground and not cave in to peer pressure. It really hurts to know that someone would think that I'm being stupid to do anything for a friend since I may not receive any favours in the end. However, I'll rather be stupid than not do what I can for someone I know. I'm sorry if I didn't consult you before making that decision but I hope you understand the importance I place on friendships. I know how to balance my own studies and friendships and I won't compromise one for another.

Maths exams tomorrow! All the best people. =)

I'm very tired so here's just a few random thoughts in my head.

There are a few facts that I would like to attest their validity but I'll save them for another time.

The links to The Impossible Quiz and its more random version, as requested by John. XD Please do them only after your A levels! Or risk.. not studying. haha.

And to end the post! a song that I think I'm getting addicted to. Perhaps this is really what I want to do, to just waste some time with my friends. Got no time to do so now cuz of Promos. Dammit.

Wasting Time by Thirsty Merc

All is fair
I'm trying to make you notice me but you don't care
You play me like a broken game of Snakes and Ladders
Or cards or piano or a record that's been thrown in the trash

I like you
I've liked you since I saw you walking down my street
I like your little vibe and your clothes and feet
And your hair and your eyes and your
nose and your face and your life

I know your name
And I've got your number
I don't wanna save the world
I just wanna waste some time with you
We're both so young
We might as well face it
I don't wanna change nothing
I just wanna waste some time with you

Three blind mice
I may as well be asking them for stable advice
Instead I'm on a seesaw all day and night
And all week and all month and all year all my life
I'm only human
If only you could see
You do some pretty crazy little things to me
And I don't wanna change the course of history
I just want you to be, next to someone like me
And be free

Now you know
My thoughts about where I would like the story to go
I feel that if you really like to play it cool
We should do it, do it, do it, yeah


Good luck to the Chinese/Malay people! =D

A short post before I go to school and get mugged. Or rather, go there and mug.

It's getting harder to breathe and any show of weaknesses would be admitting defeat in this world where we live in. People would take any show on weakness on my part and use it to their advantage, criticizing my choices and lifestyle etc. I've only myself to blame for this and I can't confide in anybody. So much for wanting to be a good friend when I can't even be one to myself!

I know I haven't been living the way you want me to live, hence making me a bad example to others, but give me a chance and I'll prove to you this would be the best decision I have ever made.

Why is The Impossible Quiz getting so popular only after I played it!

Okay besides the slight hint of narcissism there, I'm absolutely sure of that. Saw some guys in the school library crowding over a terminal and they just had to be watching a guy do The Impossible Quiz 2. I've started a fad.

Tomorrow's a new day. I should be sleeping.

It's like a poison, a drug. It slowly sucks you into its view of life, making you live the way they want you to. For the one who leads astray, he must be amoral and follow not the teachings of the Word. The power it promises lay there like a present to be unwrapped, but like Pandora's box, you release a whole gamut of emotions, both good and bad. Along with it comes the place reserved for you in hell, if you choose to receive it with outstretched arms. Such is the nature of the art, it ensnares not only its victims, but also the one who practises it to the full for he has lost his soul. Feel remorse if you will when the day comes, but it's nothing if you do not repent.

Just a question, what does it mean to dream again?

I'll think about that after the exams.

There are times when I wish that I were a guy.

1) I would be taller. Maybe not the 170+ tall but still taller than what I am now. It's not that I can't stand the short jokes and all... but people recommending me what to eat comes as a big problem from time to time.

2) I wouldn't have to care how I look. As long as I look okay and have a good character, I'll still get attached right? Somehow girls have more pressure to look better. Argh.

3) I would be able to take care of myself. It's nice being taken care of by others since I look like this small and vulnerable girl but I really wish that I could do things guys would have no problem doing, like staying out late and going chalets. And my parents wouldn't have to worry so much about my safety when I have to go home late.

4) I don't really have the mindset of a girl. haha the recess spent with Lindy, Rosheni and Germaine sort of made me realise I don't really think the way they do.

5) I would be able to play better at the game. Your good friend is a good example. XD

6) I would have a voice that can reach different octaves! Damn this is one of my main points. I really like singing and not being able to reach notes that guys can makes me damn pissed. Just think about it. How many rock songs can only be sung by guys? And even when it comes to a duet, the part of the song where the female vocalist sings has to be of a different key!

7) I would have bigger hands. Then I can do more stuff like reach more than an octave of the keyboard. I have the freakin' smallest hands I ever know for someone my age. And I would be able to play the guitar then! rawrrrrr. Damn hard to play the C-chord, what more about the F-chord!

8) I wouldn't have to have that time of the month. Not that I get pms-y, just that I won't have that. hmmpff.

9) I won't be expected to get married. HAHA.

Not like complaining about it will make much of a difference. Gotta be contented with what God has given me cuz crying about my inadequacies won't change anything. He's given me so-so looks, a cute height to be at, a voice that can reach high notes squeakily that my sister doesn't like but most importantly, He gave me good guy friends! I guess I could settle for this.

I so wanted to be part of your world. It has been everything I could ever dream of but it could never be meant for me. I hope you'll find success in your world cuz I'll be watching you from mine.

I'm losing my sanity.

I can't believe how incapable I am. I wish God would just take away my pain. It sucks to be sick, have headaches and still force myself to sit at a table to study. I want to quit. I want to give up.

I'm hearing things inside my head and some are not good. What do I have left to hold on to? I know God is my answer, would he be gracious and save me, or kill me. Either is good.

I'm tired of this charade.

I'm sorry for having said that and I promise I'll never say anything like that to anybody again.

I've totally lost the flame I once had. Not for everything though, just for a few things.

Yeah, let's start over and be friends again.

What is it in man that causes him to pity himself so?

It's time to look up and far and not within yourself for the answer. It's stupid asking you to find yourself since you're yourself. So it'll be best to concentrate not on what's not going well and on what's truly going to make your life all worthwhile!

Time has slipped me by and the speed at which it goes by has been underestimated. Time doesn't fly, it TELEPORTS. haha. And so the written report is finally done! I'm a happy girl. (:

I seem to be ignoring my social circle lately. Oh well. Guess they have promos to sit for too anyway. Jiayou everyone!

Alright gonna mug later again. Hope MK's paper went well!

This is really quite true.

Your view on yourself:
You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:
You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:
You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education
Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:
You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:
You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:
You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

Go try this quiz at http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx

=)

Life's been good.

Patrick is in California and I'm so glad. So I won't have any chance of seeing him in Singapore! Hope he never comes back.

Apart from that, nothing really special happened. It feels great to have a goal in life by the way.

Alright off to study. ciao!

-stage 1 completed-

Don't take this literally but on a personality test basis. Correct to a certain extent.

You are The Hierophant

Divine Wisdom. Manifestation. Explanation. Teaching.

All things relating to education, patience, help from superiors.The Hierophant is often considered to be a Guardian Angel.

The Hierophant's purpose is to bring the spiritual down to Earth. Where the High Priestess between her two pillars deals with realms beyond this Earth, the Hierophant (or High Priest) deals with worldly problems. He is well suited to do this because he strives to create harmony and peace in the midst of a crisis. The Hierophant's only problem is that he can be stubborn and hidebound. At his best, he is wise and soothing, at his worst, he is an unbending traditionalist.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

And so school starts again tomorrow.

The week hasn't been eventful. Apart from studying and resting, I did little else. I'm really frightened of what is to come, yet I know that worrying is pointless. There's a limit to what I can do. Still, I'll put in my best. I won't leave God to do "the rest", simply cuz I'm supposed to devote my studies to him entirely, not rely on him only when I've exhausted all other means of trying to cope by myself.

Met up with Debbie today and she gave me a gift to encourage me for my promos. Thanks Debbie! =)

I attended the Chinese service today and it was a real eye opener. Just picture this sea of elderly people, mostly middle-aged with dyed hair, the sort you'll see in the wet market, dancing and singing during the worship section! I mean, even as youths, we're so self-conscious and all. We'll probably be thinking of what others would think of us, losing ourselves in our worship. But it was then I realized what worship really was. It's the art of singing and dancing before our Lord without caring about what others would think! Only God's opinion matters.

Like what King David told Michal when she despised him cuz he was dancing with the slave girls in the streets. "I will become even more undignified than this, and I will be humiliated in my own eyes."

Teach me to gain the heart of worship! Amen. =)

Was doing quiet time when I stumbled upon this verse which I haven't seen in a long long time. Hope this encourages some of you out there, regardless of whether you're preparing for promos, A levels or O levels.

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. (2 Corinthians 12:9)

Off to mug! XD I rested quite well today. heh.

I can't get this song out of my head.

Bless the Broken Road - Rascal Flatts

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

[Chorus:]
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

[Chorus]

Now I'm just rolling home
Into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you.

I was studying today at the library when I saw someone that looked like an old classmate and I found that I really missed him. I haven't heard from him since we parted ways in primary 6 and it'll be great to catch up with him. Heard that he has changed a lot, and for the worse too. I don't care, I want to find him again. haha missing person alert! Looking for a certain Jonathan Ong Jia Sheng. Damn I still remember his name.

Bleah I'm tired. How many more days to the start of promos? I've lost count.

In doubt, study.

Don't give up on your dreams, no matter how seemingly impossible they might seem.

Yepps, that's the lesson I gleaned from Remy. For one so small he dreamt big and I really admire him for it. Haha go watch Ratatouille and be inspired!

I realized I've got really bushy hair, especially at the ends like Hermoine Granger. I was on the bus and Yahui said she recognized me only by my messy hair. Bleah. I don't think it's the bed hair syndrome because my hair is perpetually like that. I need conditioner! =(

And yes, I'm a stress-bug now. Written report is due in 5 days time! And there still seems so much left to be completed. Ah letters to schools and companies how how how! Argh and I really need the game fast so I can attach it and write a set of instructions to go with it. And hmm! Editing is done though, but I might want to go through it again.

I'm really petrified of retaining. This thought haunts me day and night. I must work hard!

Congratulations once again to HY and Jasline. =) haha it was nice meeting you 2 today.

Back to what I can do for WR. For now.